It's so cold where the candidates have been (Iowa and New Hampshire) that the politicians have had their hands in their own pockets. The Weather Channel rarely shows repeats. Local libraries are running a "borrow one, get one free" special this month.ġ. Most Americans can't afford health care, let alone cable TV.Ģ. The Internet porn writers are NOT on strike.ģ. Because after three years, no one cares why the hell they are on that island in the first place.Ĥ. Isn't there some kind of election going on somewhere?Ħ. America is too busy losing mortgage payments playing online poker.ħ. population doesn't care about the writers' Strike:Ĩ. Cancel an awards show that means nothing to the general public, but is one of the many opps celebs have to flaunt their plastic surgery-enhanced bodies and coo over one another. Let Leno write his own material that was better than the "writers'" material.Ģ. Prove that Hollywood is the cause of global warming by reducing emissions by 50 percent during the strike as celebs' planes are grounded for weeks.ģ. There's no difference between the material before and during the strike.Ĥ. Checking several times a day for a fixĥ. Giving entire family choice of dinner for two or raw meat for holiday giftsġ. Pretending that said girlfriend is Grinder Girlģ. Nearly getting arrested for tossing watermelons off the roof of our office buildingĤ. Annoying co-workers by taking items from their desks to play "Will It Float" with in the unisex toiletĥ.
Painted a portrait of Biff Henderson using shaving cream and toothpasteĦ. Breaking glassware and singing "Old Turkey Buzzard" (usually after the beer chugging)ħ. Convincing girlfriend that beer chugging could get me on stupid human tricks somedayĨ. Making up and annoying friends with my own fun-facts, 14 percent of which happen to accidentally be trueĩ. Here are the top 10 ways I've tried to curb my Late Show withdrawal symptoms while you've been on strike.ġ0. I don't watch a lot of TV, but for many years now I've been a super-fan of the Letterman show. I hope it is resolved completely to your benefit. on Tuesdays to watch House.Įditor's note: This list was originally sent to before David Letterman's "Late Show" returned to air.įirst off, as someone who lives and eats by the pen, I want to express my support for you in this strike.
I got halfway through a year's worth of Newsweek magazines.ġ. I laundered two months' worth of underwear and socks.Ħ. I can recite all of the dialogue in every CSI episode (reruns on Spike).ħ. I've watched about 10 percent of the DVDs I've bought during the last 18 months and hadn't gotten around to.Ĩ. Top 10 things I've done while the writers are on strike:ġ0.
MICHAEL ILINER HOW TO
David Letterman shows dads how to change diapers and deal with throw-up.Ģ. Conan returns to San Francisco and tapes his show in drag.ģ. Use impersonators instead of the actual hostĤ. Jon Stewart shows and discusses his bar mitzvah video.ĥ.
Stephen Colbert interviewing himself (there's something different!)ħ. Audiences play bingo, with a star as caller.Ĩ. I used to do stand-up comedy, and now I do sit-down tragedy - I work for attorneys! I am giving you my top 10 comedy ideas for late-night talk shows.ġ0. Marlene Adelman of San Francisco, California
MICHAEL ILINER TV
Hal Spear, a Livingston, New Jersey, writer sidelined by the strike, sent a video of himself delivering jokes he would have otherwise sent to TV talk shows.īelow is a selection of the responses, some of which have been edited for length and clarity. Some sent top 10 lists addressing the strike and talk show hosts' beards, while others sent footage of their joke delivery.
MICHAEL ILINER PROFESSIONAL
Responses flooded in as amateur and professional comedians sought to see how they stacked up against the standup kings.
CNN.com asked readers what they thought about the strike, and challenged them to send their own comedy routines.
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